Thursday, February 24, 2011

Learning New Words With Friends

Less than a month ago, I was introduced to an application for my phone called Wordfeud. iPhone users play Words with Friends (which was just recently released for Android). Both of these games, are essentially, online Scrabble

Now, if you're anything like me, you don't necessarily love or hate Scrabble. It's just been one of those games that you play at your Grandmama's house, and lose. At least, I always lose. My vocabulary is not that extensive, and I don't actually attempt any type of strategy. Honestly, I didn't even realize there should be a strategy until I started playing on my phone. 

But aside from small differences (I'm sure for licensing issues), and the fact that you can go hours between turns; so that you get, at least, a little bit of work done. There is one reason why Words with Friends and Wordfued is better than actual Scrabble:

IT TELLS YOU WHETHER OR NOT YOUR WORD IS A WORD WITHOUT ANY PENALTY!!!!!

That's right, you've got a bunch of tiles that you don't know what to do with? (I'm constantly stuck with a "Q", but no "U".) Just start puttin' letters together & hit that "play" button, then the game tells you if it's actually a word! No more of those pesky challenges! In fact, I'm convinced this is the exact reason that these games are so popular. I don't believe that people are as excited about actual Scrabble, as they are these apps. But, I'm not here to argue which word game is the best, I'm here to share my treasure, my treasure of knowledge. Word knowledge.

Here's 10 words, and their definitions, that I never knew existed before I started playing Words with Friends & Wordfeud:
  • Ae - adjective - one
  • Garni - adjective - garnished
  • Jeed - interjection, verb - gee
  • Ki - noun - the Sumerian goddess personifying earth: the counterpart of the Akkadian Aruru.
  •  Lown - adjective, noun, verb -calm; quiet
  • Qi - noun - Chi (vital energy believed to circulate round the body in currents)
  • Qua - adverb - as; as being; in the character or capacity of
  • Quai - noun- quay (a landing place, especially one of solid masonry, constructed along the edge of a body of water; wharf)
  • Wees - verb -Third-person singular simple present indicative form of to wee.*
  • Zooned - verb - To fly with a humming or buzzing sound**
Can anyone honestly tell me that they've heard of any of those words? I've been using them in my games, and I just now learned all the definitions! Every time I randomly try a bunch of tiles together and they turn out to be a word, I've just added it to the list. I'll continue to make lists of new crazy words, and maybe one day I'll actually use them in real life. In the meantime, if you're playing either of those games, hit me up, I'm: itsjentastic.

All definitions were taken from dictionary.com.
*Definition found at wiktionary.org
**Definition found at thefreedictionary.com

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

The Lifestyles of Psychotic Americans: Reading Through the Works of Bret Easton Ellis

Ah, satire.  That most misunderstood of creative outlets.  How I love you.  Everyone should love a good satire, or at least I’d like to imagine they should.  Satire is everywhere, in movies and music and literature; usually as a little pinch of sardonic humor thrown into a work for flavor.  Then there comes along a satirist that pushes satire onto a level of absurdity so profuse that virtually no one understands the point of it.  One such as this is usually the type of person to be ignored in his lifetime and lauded as a genius long after his demise.  A person like Bret Easton Ellis, for example.


You might know Bret Easton Ellis indirectly through the movie American Psycho, which is based on his most infamous novel.  That’s the limit of the average person’s knowledge of the author.  It’s understandable, as his books are not for everyone.  And by not for everyone, I mean they aren’t for anyone sane.  For the most part, all of his novels concern violent narcissists and deviants who go through life floating in a drug-induced haze while experiencing the occasional bouts of wanton murder.  You end up hating virtually every character he creates.  So why bother to read any of his stuff at all?
Well, because the man is going to be considered one of the great satirists of the age, and if I know hipsters like I think I do, they will want in on this before everyone else starts to like him and he becomes mainstream.  I recently finished, after picking at them for the past few years, every book in Bret Easton Ellis’ repertoire.  I’m going to take you through the written works of the man and give you a little taste of the whip smart insanity you are sure to encounter.
First up...

Less Than Zero
This should be your first foray into the world of B.E.E.  Less Than Zero concerns the character of Clay, a college kid home in Los Angeles for his Christmas break who rapidly falls back into the high class Hollywood teen lifestyle of the 80s.  If this novel is to be believed, that lifestyle consists of doing cocaine, sleeping with just about every person you come into contact with, and going to some really disturbing parties.  It’s not so much a story as it is an unblinking look at what a glitzy, glamorous life can lead to when there’s nothing else to offer from it.  Expect vivid descriptions of decadence and snuff films to plague your senses.

The Rules of Attraction
This is by far my least favorite of his books, but it’s by no means bad.  Taking place at Camden College, the story follows a group of art students as they work their way from drug deal to one night stand and back again against the backdrop of “Dress To Get Screwed” and “End of the World” parties.  At the forefront are Sean, Paul, and Lauren who form a sordid “love” triangle that has little to do with love and more to do with sexual (and bi-sexual) escapades and more than a little insanity, as by the end almost every narrator the novel offers up turns out to be unreliable, seeing things through personal lenses so warped that we aren’t sure what’s real and what isn’t.

American Psycho
Ah, here’s the big one.  Ellis’ most controversial and infamous work that is still banned in places, which for a book usually means it’s really good.  I can’t in good conscious recommend it, because it is to put it lightly, fucked up.  Here we have Patrick Bateman, New York yuppie and card-carrying materialist who spends his days dining at the finest restaurants and arguing over who has the most beautiful business card and his nights propositioning prostitutes whom he then proceeds to rape, torture, murder, and in some cases, eat.  Maybe.  It’s an incredibly violent book, told through the eyes of a man so lost in the emptiness of his lifestyle that he describes his wardrobe and love for Huey Lewis with the same deadpan voice that he describes his unspeakable acts of violence that we aren’t sure even really happened by the end.  Nothing will prepare you for what you will find in this book, so just be ready to be shocked if you’re going to go through with reading it.  But go into it with an open mind, as the point is lost on a number of people, who see it as a misogynistic manifesto of horror, rather than the skewering of the insanity of materialism that it’s meant to be.

The Informers
Ellis switched formats for his next release in the form of a collection of interconnected short stories set during the time of Less Than Zero.  (I should pause to note something here:  each of these books is set in the same screwy universe and often characters from earlier novels drift in and out of others.  I dig it.)  Anyhow, the collection of stories find a group of individuals trying to live their drugged up, vapid lives in Los Angeles.  The characters include rock stars, pretty boys, aging starlets, international rock stars, and vampires.  Yes, vampires.  It isn’t the greatest on this list, probably because most of these were written when Ellis was still in college and hadn’t yet formed the authorly clout he would later posses.  

Glamorama
I will put forward that not only is Glamorama the best on this list, but it has become one of my all time favorite books.  Which might say something terrible about my personality, but I’m not ashamed.  For now.  Victor Ward, first introduced as a minor character in Rules of Attraction, is spending the late 90s as a rising star in the New York modeling world.  He’s opening clubs and doing photo shoots for the covers of teen magazines and dating actresses.  He’s also completely idiotic, barely noticing what goes on around him if it doesn’t concern a celebrity he can name drop.  And speaking of celebrity name dropping, the first half of the books is made up of almost entirely that, with a few lengthy bouts of fashion and movie industry buzzwords that string together to paint an accurate picture of the glam obsessed culture Victor wallows in.  As the story progresses, Victor finds himself drawn into a weird conspiracy that lands him in London as part of a group of ultra-violent terrorists who are all models and actors under the tutelage of a mad former supermodel named Bobby Hughes.  Unlike most of Ellis’ other novels, Glamorama has a full story arc and a mystery for a reader to get hooked by, and I think it works much better than most of his other novels.  In talking of this book, it would be criminal not to at least mention the fact that the movie Zoolander ripped this story off hard, and a settlement with Ben Stiller was made out of court.  Which totally means that Focker was guilty, am I right?


Lunar Park
Lunar Park was a drastic change for the author, as it removes itself from his normal written universe to become a sort of faux autobiography.  The protagonist this time around is Bret Easton Ellis himself, who satirizes his own rise to stardom in the 80s and his fall from grace after writing Glamorama that led to him reconnecting with an old flame, getting married, and raising a family in suburbia.  Just when you think the story is set, murders linked to the novel American Psycho start happening in the neighborhood, and very weird things begin to take place in Ellis’ McMansion.  Things like possessed toys, monsters, ghosts, and a blending of the “real” world and the “fictional” world in his novels.  Not unlike his other novels, there’s the usual satirizing of a lifestyle at work, here being the life of a strung out suburbanite and unwarranted family man.  Where the book really shines is in the dissecting of Ellis’ relationship with his father and his son, which takes up the core of the story.

Imperial Bedrooms
Just last summer, Ellis’ most recent books was released.  It was a sequel to Less Than Zero, picking up with the characters from that novel in their particularly disturbing midlife crisis.  Clay is now a screenwriter struggling to help cast a movie he wrote that is a thinly veiled mockery of the poor adaptation of Ellis’ own The Informers.  Just as vapid and hollow as ever, Clay reconnects with people he knew in youth and finds Hollywood an even more decrepit and violent place than before.  As the lifestyle consumes him again, he descends into the depths of his own depraved obsessions and the reader follows.  The novel doesn’t work as well as most of his other ones, and is stripped down even by the standards of the usual Ellis fair, but it’s a manageable take on being middle aged (and possibly insane).
There you have it.  It’s very difficult to describe a book by Bret Easton Ellis and then follow it up with a sincere plea to read his stuff.  The books are hard to get through, to be sure.  The style, while fascinating to me, can turn a lot of people off with it’s deadpan delivery and dry humor.  That’s to say nothing for the vivid descriptions of violence and sex that border on anthropological in the attention to detail offered.  And American Psycho is best read on a dare or for money or something.  The point is not to miss the point.  Used as a cross section of the process of satirization, Bret Easton Ellis’ body of work is top notch.  His books even have a weirdly moral leaning when viewed objectively.  If only for one hell of an experience, I suggest giving him a try.
I’m sorry I used the word “satire” so much.  I didn’t have my thesaurus with me.  Or maybe I was satirizing the satire of satirists.  We’ll go with that, because it means I’m secretly a genius.


Yep, genius.  Pure genius.


Monday, February 14, 2011

Saturday Night Live, Feb 12, 2011: Russell Brand & Chris Brown


Alright people, I owe one of you out there a $1. To my surprise, Katy Perry did not show up on Saturday. Who did show up you ask? Russell Brand's penis. So, if you don't like yelling, British humour, or lot's of junk jokes, it might be best to avoid this episode. However, if you're secure in your manhood, or if you're a lady and you find Russell Brand charming and adorable, watch away.

Traditionally when comics host the show, the monologue is used so they can perform some of their own bits. Keeping with tradition, Russell did a little bit of stand up, with lots of joking about his very tight pants. By the end of the monologue, I thought, wow, that was a lot of crotch talk for one show. If only I knew what was in store.

Like I said before, we had a lot of British laughs throughout the evening, starting off with The Royal Taster:





-Fun tidbit: Watching the Red Carpet for the Grammys Sunday, Russell Brand said to Ryan Seacrest: "I left my voice in Bill Hader's Ear."


No digital short this week, but we did get a preview for a sequel to Snatch! (well sort of...)





-It's funny because 1/2 the time I watch movies like that, I do use closed caption!

so, blah blah, Chris Brown did some cool dance moves to a song that sounded suspiciously like Taio Cruz Dynamite...blah blah. On to what's usually the best part of the show, Update. Seth had several visitors this week, one of which was Hosni Mubarak & the other 2 I bring to you:

up first, it's Eminem & Lil Wayne with a Valentine's song!




-Seriously, I didn't know Taran Killam had it in him. Jay Pharoah has proved his impression chops already this season, but it's exciting to see who all he has up his sleeve!

And the other clip is none other, with Valentine's Day hot spots: Stefon




-I think Stefon will get old, only when Seth & Bill are able to keep a straight face. And, as long as they come up with gems like "Human Suitcases", I think he'll be around for a long time.

Vanessa Bayer got a little taste of Russell's peacock in this sketch, my fav? DJ Terry:




-Yes, that just happened on network TV.

Finally, I leave you with the most British of the sketches, and possibly the silliest. Which means I loved it. Oh, this is also the sketch that took Russell's crotch count to about 8 million.





There you have it, Obviously I always encourage everyone to go watch the full episode anyway, because there are sketches here that you probably didn't like and there are sketches that aired that you might have liked! (Like an ad for a Spiderman: Turn off the Dark lawyer complete with free tickets to the show! or a Vacation Giveaway, with a classic pee your pants moment! or even the answer to your question: What would happen if our current politicians actually met George Washington!)

My favorite thing about this episode is seeing all the newbies hold their own out there. I feel like Vanessa Bayer and Jay Pharoah have already begun to establish themselves, so it was nice to see Taran Killam with a significant role in so many sketches. With Paul Brittain's James Franco last week, he's slowly making his way too. Keep up the funny kids! I love it!


Next up: Miley Cyrus and the Strokes March 5!

This is too far away! I'm so excited for the Strokes, we can only hope that they are featured in a Digital Short. (Hey, Jules was featured in Boombox on the last album! it could happen!) And oh man, If Miley meets Vanessa Bayer's Miley, hey, that'd be pretty cool.

Just... just watch it.



Sometimes an invention comes along that just seems right, like maybe the mad scientist behind it was drinking his Wheatie Shakes when he was stirring the ol’ brain juices.  Definitely one of the top three inventions of the last 50 years, trailing right behind g-strings and Totino’s Pizza Rolls, is that wonderful little treasure that is the Netflix instant streaming option.  

I’m going to be honest here, and tell you I sort of hate tv.  Not the medium itself, mind you, but the whole process of watching television.  I hate commercials of course, and most of what’s on these days is just absolute garbage.  Much of this nation is more concerned with what a man-child who calls himself The Situation (I can’t believe I just made that a proper noun.  I feel so dirty.) had for breakfast than any sort of real plot, and that’s just a shame.  It’s even worse considering the sort of shows that don’t make it due to poor ratings or lack of interest.  In recent history we’ve cancelled shows like Freaks and Geeks and Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip while letting a show about Donald Trump playing games with assholes too lazy to get their own business degree make it to... (looking up the answer on wikipedia)... ELEVEN SEASONS?!  Holy Lord, take me now.  I weep for humanity.

Anyway, shows these days are getting better for the most part.  The best of the best still always seem to be cancelled early (I miss The Tick), but there are always going to be diamonds in the rough.  Since I hate watching television and currently don’t receive cable, I have chosen to turn to my old friend Netflix to get them secondhand.  One of the great things about Netflix is that after awhile it starts deciding what I’d like and what I wouldn’t like.  Now, normally I’d be wary of letting a computer steer my tastes, and not just because according to most 1980s sci-fi movies we should have been at war with the machines ages ago.  I mean, just the other day Monster.com told me I’d make a great theoretical physicist when it knows damned well that as soon as letters are introduced to mathematics my eyes begin to bleed.  But I digress, Netflix is pretty nifty in this regard.  I’ve found some good stuff to feast my eyes on lately by it’s recommendation.

However, they should add a little warning next to some of their choices.  A warning that would have said something like “You will become more addicted to this show than Rosie O’donnel is to Oreos and muffdiving”.  The show in question is called Psych and I watched about 80 hours of it in the past two weeks.

I’d heard of Psych before, from a few people and the ads that sometimes popped up during reruns of Burn Notice, but had never given it much thought.  I’m not huge on police procedurals.  Law and Order never did anything for me, and I only ever watched NYPD Blue to see bare butts on network television.  Lately there’s been an explosion of these weird off-topic police dramas that seem to always center around one super smart person with a weird schtick who is smarmy and sarcastic and helps solve crimes by figuring out if someone is lying or by accurately predicting the Numb3rs.  For the most part these are shows that my aged parents enjoy, and I’ve learned to steer clear of such tripe.

Psych is different.  Or maybe it isn’t, I don’t know.  I don’t watch any of that other nonsense.  All I know is that Psych is good.  Psych gets me.  I’d have Psych’s babies if given half the chance.  Perhaps I should stop trying to be funny and actually talk about the show?  Okay, I read you loud and clear.

Plot-wise, we have this twenty-something slacker named Shawn Spencer who’s detective daddy trained him from a young age to be hyper-observant.  After calling in enough tips about ongoing criminal investigations to be labeled a suspect, Spencer convinces the Santa Barbara PD that his talents come from psychic abilities in order to get out of trouble.  Why he couldn’t just tell them he was intelligent and observant, I don’t know and I don’t care, because then no shenaniganery would have ensued.  Basically, he ends up opening his own psychic detective agency with his best friend Gus, butting heads with hard nosed “real” detectives, and wooing ladycops all while solving whatever crime is most wacky that week.

I admit, this shouldn’t work as well as it does.  It’s not a story that can go a whole lot of places and it’s structure is so cookie cutter I crave milk after every episode, but damned if they don’t make it entertaining, schtick or no.  The dialogue is what really makes it work.  Constant pop culture references, in jokes, and back-and-forth ribbing won me over by the end of the first episode.  By the third or fourth episode I loved the characters so much I’d crossed the “I want to have a barbecue with these people” threshold and entered superfandom.  Psych has humor I didn’t expect, and towards the end of season two it really ramped up some of the drama and emotion, without sacrificing what made me love it in the first place.  It’s not a jaw dropping experience like say, Breaking Bad or Boardwalk Empire, but it is a part of a certain set of shows that are just really enjoyable and fun to watch without requiring such a stern commitment.  Go watch it.

Happy Valentine's Day!

It's Valentine's Day and while, generally, I'm not very bitter today; I still thought it would be pretty fulfilling to compile a list of some great break-up/anti-love songs. Now, there are about 9,875,729,461 songs that could be applied to this particular topic, and I am only one person, so by all means leave some of your favorites in the comments! Also, these are only kind of in an order, but they're pretty interchangeable and like most top 10s, the only spot that really matters is #1.(side note: There is some swearing that occurs, so if you are watching these at work, you might wanna pop on those headphones.)

10.Blink 182 - Dammit





-It freaked me out, how young they are in this video.


9. Maroon 5 - Makes Me Wonder





-This might've been just an excuse to put Adam Levine in this countdown. But come on: "Really makes me wonder, if I ever gave a fuck about you" that's a pretty good line.


8. Kelly Clarkson - Since U Been Gone






- I don't know how it is for guys, but this is definitely a song that is screamed at the top of your lungs while driving down the road. Also, it's very Catchy.


7. Ben Folds - Song for the Dumped






- "Give me my money back, you bitch" - Perfect.


6. Pogues - Fairytale of New York






 -Yea, yea, it's a Christmas song, but it's great. She calls him a faggot, and he calls her a slut! What's not to like!?


5. Butch Walker - Best Thing That You Never Had






-There's no music video for this song, and this is an old performance because at his shows now, he doesn't even sing it. He turns the mic around, and the crowd sings the song in it's entirety. It's amazing, but not a great introduction if you've never heard the song.


4. Cake - I Will Survive






-Classic song, and Cake Nailed it.


3. OutKast - Hey Ya!






- This song might be the most dance-able anti-love song!



2. Justin Timberlake - Cry Me a River





-Man, I can just feel the attitude in this song. Don't cheat on Justin, because he's going to write a badass song about how dumb you are. *coughBritneycough*


1. Cee-Lo - Fuck You






-Like any other song could be #1. He says it all.


Some honorable mentions, that didn't quite make the top 10: Blondie - Heart of Glass, Nsync - Bye, Bye, Bye, Jazmine Sullivan - Bust Your Windows, Panic! at the Disco - I Write Sins Not Tragedies.

Like I said, there are 9,875,729,461 songs about breakups. Leave your favs in the comments & we'll jam them too!

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Saturday Night Live, Feb 5, 2011: Dana Carvey & Linkin Park



Let me begin by urging all of you to go ahead, and just watch the whole episode. Well, you can get away without watching the Linkin Park parts. I'll just say, this wasn't the best weekend for musical performances, if you know what I mean. (See: Super Snark Half-Time)

Imagine my excitement when I found out that Dana Carvey was back on SNL, hosting!!! Immediately I knew there could be loads of cameos from SNL Alum and all the old sketches brought back! What turned out, was actually a pretty great mix of classic characters and new sketches. So, if you're one of those people that hasn't watched SNL since Dana left in '93, yet claims that the show is terrible now, it might be a nice introduction to how dumb you've been.


As if there was any other way to start the show, That familiar Cable 10 image popped up on my TV & Phil Hartman's soothing voice let me know: it was party time.







Honestly, I can't believe how great their chemistry still is after all this time. It's almost like they never left the show, and Mike Meyers has definitely not aged one bit. (must be his mojo baby!).

It was a solid monologue, the whole bit was that audiences always have a favorite cast, but it changes with the wind. When really, every cast is actually really great...except...'86-'93 was the best...and that called for a song! A song which got a special guest appearance from Master Thespian himself: JON LOVITZ!!! (ed. note: just threw a picture up, because the monologue is like 8 minutes long, and the best part is Jon Lovitz.......and I assume that most people dont care....soo....watch it on nbc.com if you want)




After the monologue we were blessed with a new episode of Church Chat, and yet another surprise guest...who gives the Church Lady a special feeling in her pants....







Of all the people to tempt the Church lady, of course it would be the Bieb. Pretty great cameo, and I always love seeing Bobby Moynihan as Snooki.

This week the digital short was a parody trailer mocking The Roommate, with Justin Bieber & Andy, as "The Roommate" As with any other short involving Andy with a weird haircut & a silly face, it was pretty entertaining:






There were other amusing sketches throughout the night, Weekend Update never disappoints. I'll finish up with the last sketch of the night, which, in the last couple seasons, have been some of the greatest sketches. Sometimes they're on the weirder side, but this particular one combines wonderful 80s synthesizer and funny facial expressions...Ladies and Gentlemen, The Fingerlings:






There you have it, my favorite sketches from last Sat's SNL. It took a lot not to post every sketch available, so you should 1. appreciate I didn't waste more of your time, or 2. be sad I didn't waste more of your time with awesome funny things. Seriously though, if you're bored just go over to nbc.com/snl because that's where I got all the pictures and clips from anyway.

Until next week, (and I'll try to get my favs up faster), I'll leave you with the promos for Saturday's all new episode, with Russell Brand & Chris Brown! (I bet you $1 Katy Perry shows up!)






P.S. I just recently found out about a pretty cool, comic style recap called Stick Figure Night Live. If you're not SNL'd out, you should check it.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

A Total Gutterball: Super Bowl XLV Half-Time

get it? Super BOWL! (as in bowling!!!!!!!) Yep, it's Jen, beginning with another shitty (yet brilliant) pun!

If you're anything like me, you've got a Super Bowl routine. My friends have thrown a party every year, for the last 4 years, so it has become something of a routine. A lot of times that routine consists of: lots of food, yelling, debating funny commercials, and me explaining who exactly it is, that is playing the half-time show.
Those last 4 performers were:
  • 2007, Prince - yes, someone did ask me who Prince was, IT'S FREAKING PRINCE!
  • 2008, Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers - Okay, maybe I can understand people not knowing who Tom Petty is (not really)
  • 2009, Bruce Springsteen & the E Street Band - Most people at the party had heard of the boss, but there were definitely some who kept asking me to sing some of Bruce's hits so that they might recognize them.
  • 2010, The Who - "Oh, the CSI theme songs!!!" *shakes her head* 
So this year, when it was announced that it would be the Black Eyed Peas, I thought to myself, for once, since this party started 4 years ago, EVERYONE is going to know the Black Eyed Peas, and no one will complain that they're old and dying! Well, after watching that performance, nobody complained about the BEP's being old, but they definitely died out there. If you haven't seen it yet, or just like torture, check it out: 









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First, let's talk about the pros:
  • Generally, most of BEP's songs are enjoyable enough.
  • The entrances
  • The Lights looked cool!
  • Slash?
  • Usher is a good dancer.
Now, where they went wrong:
  • Generally, most of BEP's songs are overplayed (but, we could deal with that)
  • Why, in God's name, didn't they lip sync??????
  • Slash?
  • Usher was wearing a shirt.

While our party watched the BEP's, now infamous, performance, I brought up the question: "When was the last good half-time performance anyway?" and the only thing we could come up with was Michael Jackson in like, '93. I reminisced on the years that MTV had the Celebrity Deathmatch half-time show, or SNL did a half-time Weekend Update.

Of course eventually, we all started yelling out different suggestions, at who would've done a better job. We had suggestions spanning from Lady Ga Ga to Rascall Flatts to Girl Talk (my personal suggestion, just a 7 minute crazy dance off). I also suggested a Journey reunion, but I'm sure Steve Perry would have nothing to do with that, it'd be awesome though. I digress, Mostly, I was trying to argue the politics of choosing a performer. It had to be someone who would be a mass pop appeal, and that Lady Ga Ga is too risque, or like the last 4 years, any "classic" rock artist would be deemed to old, or unhip. It has to be someone that appeals to the masses, has something to promote and would also be entertaining to watch. I then said, you know who would've been a great pick, Justin Bieber, and I was immediately shot down."Oh, who would he appeal to? all the men watching the Super Bowl, I don't think so!" my fellow party people sarcastically asked me.  "and the Black Eyed Peas are appealing to the men watching the Super Bowl?" with which I replied. No one, would have my suggestion. I don't even care about Justin Bieber, and I felt like I was going mad with Bieber fever! Frantically claiming he could dance, sing, hair flip & that every teenage girl ever, would tune in! Then today, thanks to Rolling Stone, I was reminded of the 2001 half-time show.












First, I was upset with myself that I didn't remember this one automatically. Once they mentioned it in the article, the memories came flowing back. I mean, this is a perfectly acceptable, entertaining half-time show. There was comedy, there was dancing, there was something for everyone! Which I think, only confirms how great an idea it was, to have Justin Bieber. In fact, once I actually started thinking about it, there could have been a great mash up of any artists that sold a ton of albums last year. (excluding Susan Boyle, she can do half-time at the VFW Bingo night)

My Super Bowl XLV half-time would've gone something like this:

Black Eyed Peas starting it off with I got a feeling, Then into Rihanna - Only Girl in the world, Then, Katy Perry Teenage Dream and THAT'S when we bring out the Bieb, into Baby (of course Ludacris is invited!) then Usher drops by for a super dance break with him & the Bieb, Jason Derulo can come too. Finally, All the Glee kids run out and everybody sings Don't Stop Believin' with Randy Jackson on bass & Carlos Santana on guitar & QuestLove on Drums, actually all the Roots are in, they're fun and awesome. 

Tell me, that half-time show wouldn't have been the bomb, I dare you. If we absolutely couldn't use Katy Perry, because she seems too "risque", I would be willing to substitute her with Taylor Swift, even though it would bring the party down. But I suppose, we could put a beat behind Love Story which might keep up the energy. Also, it wouldn't be a bad idea to throw Willow Smith into that mix, everybody could whip their hair.

So that's what should have been Super Bowl XLV's half-time show. Are you listening NFL? I'm here, waiting for you to hire me. Please, feel free to contact me via Twitter: @itsjentastic 

Finally, on a more serious note. I'd like to take this time to let all the members of 'Nsync know, that the world misses them, and that if there was ever a time to reunite, that time is now.