Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Saturday Night Live, April 9, 2011: Helen Mirren & the Foo Fighters


Well folks, it's been over a week since this episode aired and while my lack of a recap is partially due to laziness; I also thought I would wait because there isn't a new episode until May 7th! (Tina Fey!!!!!)

Cold Open was a presidential address, seems like it's been awhile since we had one of those:


I don't think this one got the credit it deserved: "Fans of SNL are unhappy because they tuned in to see the show & they got this presidential address, while others are unhappy because the show is still on the air" I mean, I know it wasn't that LOL funny, but it definitely deserved more than it got.

The monologue had Helen Mirren singing a song about being a dame....


Next up was Mort Mort Feingold: Celebrity Accountant


These are pretty silly (in a great way), but I like the impressions the best. I will say, I'm pretty much over the Kardashians, and if we never see them again I wouldn't mind at all. Clearly, Tim Burton/Helena Bonham Carter/Johnny Depp was the best part of this one.

Digital Short: Helen Mirren's Magical Bosom:


Aside from the possibly the best collection of great moments ever, Andy's pronunciation of "titties" had me giggling like crazy, and when he says "but her titties exist in a place beyond space & time" I was gone. It was short, silly and weird...just how I like 'em!

The Fox & Friends sketch was alright, mainly we learned that Helen Mirren is not great at an American accent.


There was another okay sketch about Mary Shelley's inspiration for Frankenstein.


Foo Fighters jammed their song Rope:



Update had a couple visitors this week, including James Carville


Also, a visit from Shelley Elaine, a flight attendant who's plane cracked on the ceiling, giving her the greatest hair ever.

and some of the week's Update Favorites:


There was a sketch I thought was pretty funny, but I can't find a clip anywhere. Andy Samberg was Hugh Jackman, and he hosted a talk show called "The Best of Both Worlds", because he, Hugh Jackman, was both an action star as Wolverine & a talented singer/dancer. He had guests that were similarly, 2-sided. Like Gerard Butler (300/romantic comedies). It was funny, I'm surprised they didn't put it up.

We got a nice visit from the Ninjas from Under-Underground Records in Crunk-Ass Easter Festival:

RIP Ass Dan. These are the best, especially if you've seen the ridiculousness that is the actual infomercials...(like the 10th Annual Gathering)

Then some major historical inaccuracies with The Roosevelts

A commercial for Perspective Studios:


As if it wasn't already funny, Seth Meyers says "peen" and locks it down.


Closed out the show with an okay Strip Club sketch.
Overall, not a bad episode, definitely not as completely funny as the last few have been, but no complaints here. I'm just getting ready for the last 2 episodes of the season. They're still weeks away, but Tina Fey is hosting May 7th, and then Justin Timberlake is hosting the finale on the 21st...

Speaking of JT on the 21st...would you like to know how that was confirmed?? BET YOU WOULD!!! check it....
I found out SNL wasn't new until the 7th, and I tweeted this:

and then....@nbcsnl tweeted me back today and said "@itsjentastic Nope! We have Timberlake after that!" and then I RT'd that. So, later this evening I thought, Oh, let me favorite that tweet, because that's so cool they replied to me!! But, I couldn't find it, it was gone, missing...I thought it was weird, but went on with my life...Until just now. I went to look for the exact date that JT was hosting, so I googled it, and stumbled upon some interesting articles ACTUALLY "QUOTING" MY TWEET! Like articles from: Huffington Post!:


also PerezHilton, and TVLine. Not to mention articles linking to those articles...with MY TWEET...IMDB and HitFix If you find more, put 'em in the comments!! But, Why didn't any of these people link to my username??? C'mon people!! 

Needless to say...I'm freaking out.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Saturday Night Live, April 2, 2011: Elton John


Elton John was the both the host & musical guest, and I was surprised to learn that this was only his second appearance on the show. It was a solid episode and if there was any fear of having him host it was gone after the cold open. Even if he might have had some trouble there were some serious surprises that would've made up for it!

We opened up with...
The Lawrence Welk Show:

I always love these and it seems like we haven't seen one in awhile, which makes it that much funnier.

The monologue was good, some good one liners about having a baby, being Elton John, etc.


Then the real fun started!!! Check out who shows up in...
ESPN Classics:
"Make a little room for Paco, put some sauce on that taco! - KY Jelly" Seriously not even close to the funniest pun they use for KY Jelly. So, right off the bat we get Will Forte, who I don't think got nearly the applause he deserved. I don't think people realize he isn't on the show anymore, but I, gave him plenty in my living room. (Basically, I stood up and walked around the coffee table and clapped and yelled). Then Carmelo Anthony showed up and I had no idea who he was, so thank you twitter. THEN Tom Hanks showed up, and he was GLORIOUS, (plus he had the best line in the whole sketch). Now, here's my only beef w/ Hanx. I follow him on twitter (@tomhanks), and earlier Saturday afternoon, he tweeted a picture of him at SNL!!! WHY WOULD HE DO THAT!?! Basically, I had to try to convince myself that he was just there hanging out, even though I knew, in my heart, that he was going to be surprising us in a sketch. Hanx, you disappointed me, but I can't stay mad at ya. (P.S. when are you hosting again? Alec & Steve are 7 ahead of you!!!)

And just when you thought Tom Hanks was gone....
Knights of the Realm:
How great was his Michael Caine? Also, Taran Killam as Ian McKellen, nailed it! Plus the word Jizz in an English accent? Love it!

Then when you REALLY thought Hankster was gone, boom Digital Short: 
Laser Cats, The Musical 
They had Wilson!!!!!! I already love Laser Cats and then they added Space Jam and singing....just plain great.

Update was fun, as usual. Both, Moammar Gadhafi and Bronx Zoo trainer Barry Lewis paid a visit to the update desk. We even had some surprise guests!!:
Jake Gyllenhaal & Nicolas Cage!
Jake, you're hot...and you #cangetit. let's do this.

Update Highlights
 
"Lamborghini for every day use, because your penis is tiny every day" Update writers, you are wonderful.

Then we were back to the sketches...
Elton Visits the Queen
 
These have been cracking me up. I say these, I think there's only been two (maybe 3?). But Fred as the Queen just kills me.

We closed the night with a couple sketches that were pretty good. The Silver Screen had Taran Killam & Elton John talking about movies....and making out! (Yes, it was kind of like Men on Films) But as you know I love Taran Killam and he's quickly become my favorite newbie, so shut it. Then we had Elton, as an interesting Cowboy in the Old West. Finally, I figure I'd throw in a link for a musical performance, I mean, It was Elton John & Leon Russell, besides Leon Russell has the best hair/beard ever.


Anyway, as I say every week: Record the damn show live, at the very least you can go back and watch it when I tell you something exciting happened! Otherwise, you only get the cheapest 50 minutes (It's a 90 minute show). (and it's only 50 minutes whether you watch it online or ondemand!)


I leave you with promos for Saturday's show with Helen Mirren & the Foo Fighters!!




Hellen Mirren, you're like a lady silver fox!!

Friday, April 1, 2011

Tarantino, The Coens, and Smith... Will It Blend? A review of Red State




Where does one begin when discussing Kevin Smith? A lot can be said about the usually comedic director, and a lot IS being said every time someone mentions his new film Red State. Invariably, at any point during a review of his new flick, a whole paragraph will be devoted to how this is a dramatic departure from his usual fair, as Red State is not a raunchy, dialogue heavy comedy but a raunchy, dialogue heavy horror movie. Then a whole separate paragraph is devoted to how Smith is foregoing the usual means of distribution and putting the film out himself via a national tour and blah blah blah... See how boring this gets? If you’ve come to this page because you’ve heard about Red State and want to know my thoughts, you’ve already gone through a paragraph and read next to nothing about the film itself. I thought I’d skip the detritus in discussing the man, the myth, the brand name that is Kevin Smith, and instead talk about the new film and leave it at that. So here goes.

Right off the bat, the film deserves major props. In our remake and sequel laden world, it is a breath of wonderfully fresh air to witness something that is wholly unique and not connected to any prior work. So already, points to Red State for going where no film has gone before and in such a dismal market to boot. In the film, which Smith has described often as a horror movie, although it is much more than that, three teenage dudes go looking for sex after answering an online ad and end up victims of a ruthless fundamentalist Christian cult that’s one part Texas Chainsaw family, one part Al Quaeda, and one part Pat Robertson. This, of course, is only the beginning.

Now, let’s discuss the writing. Writing, especially dialogue, has always been Smith’s major strong suit and he doesn’t disappoint here. Despite the movie being a heavy and darkly disturbing tale, hilarious lines are not held in check. In fact, they are used profusely and strategically, mostly in order to lend voice to the audience and a little bit of tension relief between the mind numbing horros. I can’t honestly recall a place where it didn’t work, especially since the lines were being delivered by some A-list actors that spent most of their screen time eating up scenery and pooping out Oscar worthy performances.

Michael Parks is the big baddie in the film, glimpsed in the beginning and later taking the protagonists, and the viewer, captive for some horrific rituals. He plays Abin Cooper, a Fred Phelps-esque pastor of a hate pandering Christian sect holed up in a private commune called Cooper’s Dell. If his performance in Red State is any indication, Parks and his alter ego will go down in history as one of the silver screen’s greatest and most disturbing villains, to rival the likes of Hannibal the Cannibal himself. But Parks is by no means alone in this. His chief rival as the film progresses is ATF Agent Keenan, played with a tough sincerity by the legendary John Goodman. Goodman and Parks begin a battle to see who’s going to steal the show, and it’s an utmost pleasure to see the two dropping science all over the screen just by their mere presence.

That’s not to say you should only be on the lookout for these two powerhouses, either. The supporting cast of relative unknowns also brings their A-game to the table. Michael Angarano, Kyle Gallner, and Nicholas Braun play the hapless and horny teens that get into this mess with a certain desperate loser-ish charm that you can’t help but like despite the fact that they have a pretty one track mind. One standout supporting performance is Kerry Bishe’s, who plays the oldest granddaughter of Abin Cooper and puts a sympathetic human face on an inhuman enemy. I believe she had the best scenes outside of the ones populate by Parks and Goodman.

Smith’s story never takes the popular route any usual “horror” movie would take. No score clues the audience in with the usual cheap notes, and just when you think you have the rest of the movie figured out there is some sort of gigantic, perhaps cosmic, twist to ratchet you off of your game. This is done well, and continues all the way to the final scene. It is a rarity that a film these days can keep me guessing, and this one had me scrambling around in the dark to the very end. Another thing to note, and something that’s been mentioned countless times before in the prior reviews of the film, is that this becomes less of a horror movie and more of a dramatic political thriller, or even an action movie about halfway in. The best analogy I can come up with when I’ve told people about the flick is that it’s somewhat like watching The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and halfway through switching it to Inglourious Basterds. That’s the delicious taste that was left in my mouth by the end of the film, along with a hint of Coen Brother’s directing sensibilities and a dash of Kevin Smith’s wit-pepper.

I hate just gushing about a film, and I struggled to find something to really complain about here in order to make my review a bit more even handed. The only thing I could come up with is that I wish it would have been longer. I know some stuff was cut out of the original Sundance edit, and I’m positively drooling at a chance to see a Director’s cut version on dvd because I couldn’t get enough of Red State. At the end of the day, when the only complaint you can fathom is that there wasn’t enough of such an awesome flick, I think it was a job well done.

After the screening I attended, Smith himself got onstage to discuss the film and one thing he said about the movie struck home. He said that the goal when he set out was to make a “Tarantino flick by way of the Coen brothers”. What can one say, but that the man at least has great taste? Well, I for one, can say that he accomplished this in spades and with his own little twist of creative lime juice on top.

The movie comes out in wide release on October 19th, and I know I’m going to be there.



Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Saturday Night Live, March 12, 2011: Zach Galifianakis & Jessie J





Yea, I don't know who Jessie J is either, and who really cares? Nobody right?! Woo! Let's get on with it. Cold Open was March Madness themed, as in, crazy people! not bad,  but let's get to the monologue:


I think this is, hands down, the funniest monologue I've ever seen.(at least of the last decade) I mean, there have definitely been some solid ones in the past, but I can't remember the last one that had me laughing as much as I did...especially when Zach started dancing across the stage, in bobby socks!!! Not to mention the underwear, the whole thing is just, amazing. (and the Annie bit made me think of Andy Kaufman, and since it did here's a clip of him on SNL in the 70s!)


Also, I have to say God Bless Funny or Die, because NBC/Hulu couldn't put the entire monologue up due to royalties for the Annie song. The youtube vids were awful, and it took a tiny bit of searching, but I found it!!!! (Not to beat a dead horse or anything, buuuut if I've said it once, I'll say it a million times: THERE ARE REASONS YOU WATCH THE FUCKING SHOW LIVE ON TV!!!!!!! kthx!)


There was a View-like tv show, called "the talk" which was heavily reliant on Abby Elliott, sooo needless to say, I wasn't that impressed.  Zach was great in it, as was Nasim but, didn't save it.


This next one I appreciated immediately, and just got funnier the more times I watch it:



Love the clothes they're all wearing, and I think my favorites are the friends they bring along. Yay! Welcome Seth back to the world of sketches!!!! Boston Powers, yes!


Then we had one of my personal favorite recurring sketches, Scared Straight:



"Watch Yourself Punk! You won't be Home Alone, you'll be in Prison, Getting Boned!" and that's not even the best line.


Digital Short: Zach looks for a New Assistant:



Kids say the darndest things!!! I love the tired looking kid: "Not funny, Not funny, Not funny, Kinda funny"


Jessie J, featuring B.O.B (so great there's no video from NBC)....So on to Update!



As usual, it was just a little taste of some jokes from the show.


Kristen Wiig came on as Julie Taymor, the newly fired director of Spiderman: Turn out the Lights. 


Then Liam, the teenager who just woke up visited the Update desk:



I wish everyone hawk/person singing dreams!!! "Brohawk Obama" awesome.


After update, there was a fun sketch that had Zach as a dad trying to tell his kids that their dachshund Noodles died, without having to explain that it was due to auto-erotic asphyxiation...but of course he has to, and it's funny. aaaaaand of course it's not online, unless you want to see it literally taped off someone's television.


There was a Canadian Entertainment Show that was alright, but too long. Then we got a new commercial for Corn Syrup!



Nasim! Love her! Plus, I love Bobby Moynihan as a kid!


Finally we got a quick little show ender which put Zach in a dress and had him yelling at people. I'll take it!



Hader was great as the "baby" in this one too. Just a fun quick sketch, nothin fancy.


During the Goodnights Zach came out with a crazy Mr. T head shave. Last time he hosted, he shaved his beard during the show, hopefully it's becoming a super funny tradition!! Here's the behind the scenes:




So that's that. I hope that Zach continues to host every year, like Jon Hamm, he's just got great chemistry with the cast. He's not afraid to take risks on weird sketches either, which makes for a fun show to watch. Plus, isn't it about time we got some new blood in the 5 timers club? Justin Timberlake's only 2 episodes away!


SNL back on April 2nd all new, with Host AND Musical guest: Elton John!!! Maybe Horatio will make an appearance??? I know he's lost like a bajillion lbs...buuut....I'm not getting my hopes up

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Saturday Night Live, March 5, 2011: Miley Cyrus & The Strokes

Well, everyone said it, All Miley had to do was not suck as much as January Jones.....and she didn't! Yay!! Good job Miley!!!! There were even a couple sketches that she wasn't that bad in!! *GASP* I know, I couldn't believe I actually typed those words either, but you'll see. 

Cold Open: Duh! Winning! with Charlie Sheen



Honestly, I'm glad they got it in and over with at the top. Bill Hader did a great job, especially since he was going up against the only person to do a better Sheen this week, than Sheen himself: Jimmy Fallon. Fred as Moammar Gadhafi was perfect and he had my favorite line of the sketch: "I have the courage of a lion, the heart of a monster, and I dress like Humpty Hump from Digital Underground" Also, Taran Killam was great as John Galliano!! (If you haven't noticed, he's quickly becoming my favorite newbie!!! He's gonna be a star I tell ya!)


A lot of the sketches, including the monologue, had Miley singing...soooo....I don't have a lot of sketches to share with you!! Although, if you're bored: Our Time with Taboo and apl.de.ap has silly dancing by Keenan & Andy, and Miley's singing is kept at a minimum.

Check out a quick Disney Channel Acting School commercial, which mostly I appreciate because Loudness is one of the lessons. But, it's great if you've ever actually watched a Disney Channel show. (RIP Kids Incorporated, Flash Forward, Mickey Mouse Club and more!*)

Then Finally, worlds collided (kinda?) when Miley met Miley...it was Pretty Cool:



I really do love Vanessa Bayer's Miley, and believe me, I especially love Sudeikis' Billy Ray Cyrus, just look at him:


Anyway, I love it, but Bayer's only a featured cast member, and I'm worried that the Miley Cyrus Show is going to be overdone by the time she makes the cast. She's obviously talented though, so maybe I shouldn't be worried and just excited about what other funny she's going to bring! Also, how spot on was Miley's Justin Bieber? creepy! Wait, has anyone ever seen them in the same room? Seriously, is this a real life Hanna Montana /Just One of the Guys situation?..... Just. Saying.

Moving right along to The Strokes: Under Cover of Darkness!



As I've told everyone, a million times over, there's something you get out of watching it live and not online later...like hearing Julian Casablancas say "Fuck it" on network television. While that's something I say, almost hourly, in my every day life, and who really cares because it was after midnight? I still get totally charged when someone drops a "Fuck" or  when cast members break, just proves that it's 100% LIVE! and that's really fucking exciting. Also, Jules can get it.

Like always, Weekend Update brings the most laughs, and I wish I could just post the entire segment, but alas, it is only in clips. First, here's the highlights, including Winners & Losers c/o Charlie Sheen.


"I myself was a cute kid, and I look normal now, but everything in between was just knobby joints and patchy body hair"

We got some secondhand news from Anthony Crispino


"There's a wizard over there causin' all sorts o' trouble, Gandalfy"

And my favorite visitor: the Devil, who is surprisingly adorable. (I think it's the hair.)


"You just got Damned!"

The last few seasons have generally saved a lot of great sketches for the last half of the show. This was not the case for this episode. The last half was pretty low key, but it did bring us another Les Jeunes de Paris sketch....


I don't know why NBC doesn't have this one on their site (yes, I checked Hulu too). But, clearly the best part about these sketches are Nasim's dance moves. Pretty much everyone's dancing is great, and it's so silly and weird! Love it.

The last clip (from this ep) I got is The Strokes: Life is Simple in the Moonlight


I want those shades, big time. Also, have I mentioned Jules can get it? (P.S. The Strokes' new album Angles, drops March 22. Get pumped)


So, there you have it, wasn't a total catastrophe, pretty much what I expected. I would've liked to see a Strokes/Lonely Island collab. but Jules was on the last album, so probably not this year! (BTW, new Lonely Album drops...April-ish....or at least sometime this year! Woo!)


Finally, I leave you with the promos for this weeks all new episode: Zach Galifianakis with Musical guest Jessie J.






No, I don't know who Jessie J. is, but you can be damn sure the episode will be great.


*After listing 3 of many original Disney Channel Shows, I realize they probably warrant their own blog post, so BOLO** for that.


**BOLO = Be On the Look Out

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Host with the Most: Academy Awards Edition

It's been almost a week since the Academy Awards and I think we've all pretty much forgotten about them. (At least, I have.) Instead of recapping my thoughts of the show or the movies from this past year in general (they were similar) (except for Scott Pilgrim, Kick Ass & MacGruber); I'm here to look to the future. 

Everyone's first choice for Oscar host is always Billy Crystal. Well folks, it's time to retire that idea. Don't you think every year, the Academy calls up Billy and says "Billy, isn't it about time you came back?" and Billy always says "You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles....No" Okay, so he probably doesn't quote The Princess Bride, but you get my point. He's done people, we have to let it go. We have to move on! And that's why I'm here, I present you with my top 5 contenders for next year's Academy Awards' Host:


5. Jon Hamm


Basis of Consideration: He's attractive, funny, respectable and totally capable. 

4. Joel McHale


Basis of Consideration:He's been hosting the Soup for years! He hosted this year's Independent Spirit Awards.

3. Neil Patrick Harris


Basis of Consideration: Quite possibly my favorite gay man ever, he can sing, dance and act. He's hosted The Emmys, The Tonys & the TV Land Awards.

2. Jimmy Fallon


Basis of Consideration: After this year's Emmys, there's no way you can tell me he couldn't handle it. Besides, he gets excited about everything & has chemistry with everyone. He'd be the greatest, I'm telling you. (Obviously, this clip also backs both Jon Hamm & Joel McHale)

1. The Fucking Muppets


Basis of Consideration: Who doesn't love the muppets??? They had their own show! They can do no wrong.

 


There you have it Academy, I'm handing you gold. I'm also for hire.

Honorable Mentions: Seth Meyers (via @JrodakaJrod), Paul Rudd (via bestweekever.tv)

(Ed. Note: It wasn't until I finished this post that I realized there were no women on this list. I'm sorry ladies, I'm just as bad as the men that run this country. I'll make it up to us! Girl Power!)

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Learning New Words With Friends

Less than a month ago, I was introduced to an application for my phone called Wordfeud. iPhone users play Words with Friends (which was just recently released for Android). Both of these games, are essentially, online Scrabble

Now, if you're anything like me, you don't necessarily love or hate Scrabble. It's just been one of those games that you play at your Grandmama's house, and lose. At least, I always lose. My vocabulary is not that extensive, and I don't actually attempt any type of strategy. Honestly, I didn't even realize there should be a strategy until I started playing on my phone. 

But aside from small differences (I'm sure for licensing issues), and the fact that you can go hours between turns; so that you get, at least, a little bit of work done. There is one reason why Words with Friends and Wordfued is better than actual Scrabble:

IT TELLS YOU WHETHER OR NOT YOUR WORD IS A WORD WITHOUT ANY PENALTY!!!!!

That's right, you've got a bunch of tiles that you don't know what to do with? (I'm constantly stuck with a "Q", but no "U".) Just start puttin' letters together & hit that "play" button, then the game tells you if it's actually a word! No more of those pesky challenges! In fact, I'm convinced this is the exact reason that these games are so popular. I don't believe that people are as excited about actual Scrabble, as they are these apps. But, I'm not here to argue which word game is the best, I'm here to share my treasure, my treasure of knowledge. Word knowledge.

Here's 10 words, and their definitions, that I never knew existed before I started playing Words with Friends & Wordfeud:
  • Ae - adjective - one
  • Garni - adjective - garnished
  • Jeed - interjection, verb - gee
  • Ki - noun - the Sumerian goddess personifying earth: the counterpart of the Akkadian Aruru.
  •  Lown - adjective, noun, verb -calm; quiet
  • Qi - noun - Chi (vital energy believed to circulate round the body in currents)
  • Qua - adverb - as; as being; in the character or capacity of
  • Quai - noun- quay (a landing place, especially one of solid masonry, constructed along the edge of a body of water; wharf)
  • Wees - verb -Third-person singular simple present indicative form of to wee.*
  • Zooned - verb - To fly with a humming or buzzing sound**
Can anyone honestly tell me that they've heard of any of those words? I've been using them in my games, and I just now learned all the definitions! Every time I randomly try a bunch of tiles together and they turn out to be a word, I've just added it to the list. I'll continue to make lists of new crazy words, and maybe one day I'll actually use them in real life. In the meantime, if you're playing either of those games, hit me up, I'm: itsjentastic.

All definitions were taken from dictionary.com.
*Definition found at wiktionary.org
**Definition found at thefreedictionary.com

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

The Lifestyles of Psychotic Americans: Reading Through the Works of Bret Easton Ellis

Ah, satire.  That most misunderstood of creative outlets.  How I love you.  Everyone should love a good satire, or at least I’d like to imagine they should.  Satire is everywhere, in movies and music and literature; usually as a little pinch of sardonic humor thrown into a work for flavor.  Then there comes along a satirist that pushes satire onto a level of absurdity so profuse that virtually no one understands the point of it.  One such as this is usually the type of person to be ignored in his lifetime and lauded as a genius long after his demise.  A person like Bret Easton Ellis, for example.


You might know Bret Easton Ellis indirectly through the movie American Psycho, which is based on his most infamous novel.  That’s the limit of the average person’s knowledge of the author.  It’s understandable, as his books are not for everyone.  And by not for everyone, I mean they aren’t for anyone sane.  For the most part, all of his novels concern violent narcissists and deviants who go through life floating in a drug-induced haze while experiencing the occasional bouts of wanton murder.  You end up hating virtually every character he creates.  So why bother to read any of his stuff at all?
Well, because the man is going to be considered one of the great satirists of the age, and if I know hipsters like I think I do, they will want in on this before everyone else starts to like him and he becomes mainstream.  I recently finished, after picking at them for the past few years, every book in Bret Easton Ellis’ repertoire.  I’m going to take you through the written works of the man and give you a little taste of the whip smart insanity you are sure to encounter.
First up...

Less Than Zero
This should be your first foray into the world of B.E.E.  Less Than Zero concerns the character of Clay, a college kid home in Los Angeles for his Christmas break who rapidly falls back into the high class Hollywood teen lifestyle of the 80s.  If this novel is to be believed, that lifestyle consists of doing cocaine, sleeping with just about every person you come into contact with, and going to some really disturbing parties.  It’s not so much a story as it is an unblinking look at what a glitzy, glamorous life can lead to when there’s nothing else to offer from it.  Expect vivid descriptions of decadence and snuff films to plague your senses.

The Rules of Attraction
This is by far my least favorite of his books, but it’s by no means bad.  Taking place at Camden College, the story follows a group of art students as they work their way from drug deal to one night stand and back again against the backdrop of “Dress To Get Screwed” and “End of the World” parties.  At the forefront are Sean, Paul, and Lauren who form a sordid “love” triangle that has little to do with love and more to do with sexual (and bi-sexual) escapades and more than a little insanity, as by the end almost every narrator the novel offers up turns out to be unreliable, seeing things through personal lenses so warped that we aren’t sure what’s real and what isn’t.

American Psycho
Ah, here’s the big one.  Ellis’ most controversial and infamous work that is still banned in places, which for a book usually means it’s really good.  I can’t in good conscious recommend it, because it is to put it lightly, fucked up.  Here we have Patrick Bateman, New York yuppie and card-carrying materialist who spends his days dining at the finest restaurants and arguing over who has the most beautiful business card and his nights propositioning prostitutes whom he then proceeds to rape, torture, murder, and in some cases, eat.  Maybe.  It’s an incredibly violent book, told through the eyes of a man so lost in the emptiness of his lifestyle that he describes his wardrobe and love for Huey Lewis with the same deadpan voice that he describes his unspeakable acts of violence that we aren’t sure even really happened by the end.  Nothing will prepare you for what you will find in this book, so just be ready to be shocked if you’re going to go through with reading it.  But go into it with an open mind, as the point is lost on a number of people, who see it as a misogynistic manifesto of horror, rather than the skewering of the insanity of materialism that it’s meant to be.

The Informers
Ellis switched formats for his next release in the form of a collection of interconnected short stories set during the time of Less Than Zero.  (I should pause to note something here:  each of these books is set in the same screwy universe and often characters from earlier novels drift in and out of others.  I dig it.)  Anyhow, the collection of stories find a group of individuals trying to live their drugged up, vapid lives in Los Angeles.  The characters include rock stars, pretty boys, aging starlets, international rock stars, and vampires.  Yes, vampires.  It isn’t the greatest on this list, probably because most of these were written when Ellis was still in college and hadn’t yet formed the authorly clout he would later posses.  

Glamorama
I will put forward that not only is Glamorama the best on this list, but it has become one of my all time favorite books.  Which might say something terrible about my personality, but I’m not ashamed.  For now.  Victor Ward, first introduced as a minor character in Rules of Attraction, is spending the late 90s as a rising star in the New York modeling world.  He’s opening clubs and doing photo shoots for the covers of teen magazines and dating actresses.  He’s also completely idiotic, barely noticing what goes on around him if it doesn’t concern a celebrity he can name drop.  And speaking of celebrity name dropping, the first half of the books is made up of almost entirely that, with a few lengthy bouts of fashion and movie industry buzzwords that string together to paint an accurate picture of the glam obsessed culture Victor wallows in.  As the story progresses, Victor finds himself drawn into a weird conspiracy that lands him in London as part of a group of ultra-violent terrorists who are all models and actors under the tutelage of a mad former supermodel named Bobby Hughes.  Unlike most of Ellis’ other novels, Glamorama has a full story arc and a mystery for a reader to get hooked by, and I think it works much better than most of his other novels.  In talking of this book, it would be criminal not to at least mention the fact that the movie Zoolander ripped this story off hard, and a settlement with Ben Stiller was made out of court.  Which totally means that Focker was guilty, am I right?


Lunar Park
Lunar Park was a drastic change for the author, as it removes itself from his normal written universe to become a sort of faux autobiography.  The protagonist this time around is Bret Easton Ellis himself, who satirizes his own rise to stardom in the 80s and his fall from grace after writing Glamorama that led to him reconnecting with an old flame, getting married, and raising a family in suburbia.  Just when you think the story is set, murders linked to the novel American Psycho start happening in the neighborhood, and very weird things begin to take place in Ellis’ McMansion.  Things like possessed toys, monsters, ghosts, and a blending of the “real” world and the “fictional” world in his novels.  Not unlike his other novels, there’s the usual satirizing of a lifestyle at work, here being the life of a strung out suburbanite and unwarranted family man.  Where the book really shines is in the dissecting of Ellis’ relationship with his father and his son, which takes up the core of the story.

Imperial Bedrooms
Just last summer, Ellis’ most recent books was released.  It was a sequel to Less Than Zero, picking up with the characters from that novel in their particularly disturbing midlife crisis.  Clay is now a screenwriter struggling to help cast a movie he wrote that is a thinly veiled mockery of the poor adaptation of Ellis’ own The Informers.  Just as vapid and hollow as ever, Clay reconnects with people he knew in youth and finds Hollywood an even more decrepit and violent place than before.  As the lifestyle consumes him again, he descends into the depths of his own depraved obsessions and the reader follows.  The novel doesn’t work as well as most of his other ones, and is stripped down even by the standards of the usual Ellis fair, but it’s a manageable take on being middle aged (and possibly insane).
There you have it.  It’s very difficult to describe a book by Bret Easton Ellis and then follow it up with a sincere plea to read his stuff.  The books are hard to get through, to be sure.  The style, while fascinating to me, can turn a lot of people off with it’s deadpan delivery and dry humor.  That’s to say nothing for the vivid descriptions of violence and sex that border on anthropological in the attention to detail offered.  And American Psycho is best read on a dare or for money or something.  The point is not to miss the point.  Used as a cross section of the process of satirization, Bret Easton Ellis’ body of work is top notch.  His books even have a weirdly moral leaning when viewed objectively.  If only for one hell of an experience, I suggest giving him a try.
I’m sorry I used the word “satire” so much.  I didn’t have my thesaurus with me.  Or maybe I was satirizing the satire of satirists.  We’ll go with that, because it means I’m secretly a genius.


Yep, genius.  Pure genius.